Death is Personal

Every time I read of someone in my extended cancer family dying, I take it personally. And it hurts whether I knew them or not. So many of them I met through the blogosphere or Facebook and have not met in person. But I still feel I know them, and we support each other in our fight for freedom. And each death reminds me of my own mortality.

I know that each person with lung cancer is different and will respond differently to different drugs. And I know what the statistics show. I try not to focus on statistics, but it’s hard not to. I instead try to focus on the survivors who have beat the odds – those who have survived 5,10 years or more – and those living with NED (No Evidence of Disease). Lung cancer isn’t curable; I know that. But I want to know why isn’t it? What is it about this disease that makes it so aggressive and so incurable?

I read scientific studies; I read clinical trial results hoping for the breakthrough treatment that will knock lung cancer on its ass. I also read stories of ‘cures’ if I will only buy whatever the supplement or diet du jour is. And I get angry at the people that are touting these ‘cures’ and giving false hope to people living with lung cancer and desperate for a cure when there isn’t one. I have to admit that every time I see a new ‘cure’, I do a search for any scientific studies on whatever ‘it’ is; most of the time there are none. But once in a while, there are promising studies, and then they don’t seem to go anywhere. And I wonder why. What happened that the research didn’t continue when the early results showed such promise. Did funding run out? Was there a catastrophe with the research itself?

There is no lack of conspiracy theories to explain why we have no cure today. Many of these theories claim there is a cure, but the Government, or the drug companies, or someone out there, has decided they want people to die, or they can’t make money from the ‘cure’, or so many other ridiculous reasons.

Lung cancer can become resistant to the chemotherapeutic agents used as first line treatment. And even to the second line treatment. The most encouraging research now seems to be targeted therapy and immunotherapy. Targeted therapy is for a specific mutation, and immunotherapy is a way to trick the body’s immune system into attacking the cancer cells, and only the cancer cells. This is different than chemo where all fast growing cells are attacked, which is why there are GI side effects, and loss of hair, etc. But even these aren’t cures, and lung cancer can develop immunity to the treatment.

So for now I will just keep going. I will have blood work and another CT scan on Tuesday and will meet with my oncologist on Wednesday. And then we’ll see where we go from here. In the meantime, I will continue living with an attitude of gratitude as much as possible.

 

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