Update 9/17/14

There really isn’t a whole lot to report. I did have horrible hip and back pain for 2 or 3 days from the Neupogen. Tylenol didn’t help at all, and Vicodin just took the edge off. I had to take that every 4 hours for 24 hours just to get some relief. I don’t like taking strong pain pills, but I was in agony. Even though the Vicodin only took the edge off, I wasn’t willing to take anything stronger, so I just slept a lot, which helped.

This week, I’m feeling normal. I have so much energy! Yesterday I reduced the paper pile in my office and discovered there really is a desk and credenza right here. I now have one smallish pile instead of 4 or 5 big ones. Today we cleaned out the sewing/laundry room, which had been used to put stuff we didn’t know what to do with or that we didn’t want to deal with. We found stuff in there we had been looking for! I still have to organize everything into the containers I bought some time ago with the intention of getting organized, but at least the counter and cabinets are visible. I ran out of juice about half way through the project. So it will be finished tomorrow. And then we tackle the guest room, which has also been used as a dumping ground for stuff.

I have been checking my blood pressure twice a day, and it’s higher than it normally is, so I’m not sure what’s going on there. But at least it’s not in the danger zone like it was. I will check in on Friday for blood work and a pneumonia shot. Then go back on Tuesday for my next round of chemo, providing all signs are good.

I am really enjoying feeling normal and having energy. And I’ll probably feel this way for another week. So I’m enjoying it while it’s here.

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Courage

…not all great acts of courage are obvious to those looking in from the outside.
― Mia Sheridan

This particular quote really struck a chord with me today. I chose it as today’s tweet some time ago – I gather quotes and schedule them to be tweeted at some point in the future. I didn’t give this one a second thought until today. Courage is often thought of as the ability to do great deeds and save someone or something, but it is really living in the day-to-day circumstances over which we have no control. It is living with excruciating pain on a daily basis and yet having a smile on your face. It is knowing your cancer will kill you, yet living a full life and laughing in the face of death. It is knowing that every step will send shooting pains through your whole body, yet walking the path anyway. It’s easy to see courage sometimes; those who rescue people from a burning building or vehicle, for example. And we see examples of courage every night on the evening news. It’s these quiet instances of courage we don’t see.

Since I have been on this journey, I have ‘met’ so many people living with cancer who show great grace and humor. On the dark days I sometimes have; when the pain seems too much to bear; when I know this cancer will kill me; when I despair of ever being able to control my life again; that’s when I remember those I have met who are also traveling this dark path yet are scattering light along the way for those of us who follow along. I salute you.