When things go wrong

We are human. When something goes wrong, it isn’t long before a whole series of things starts going wrong. Why? Much of it has to do with our mindset. It is so easy to berate ourselves for doing something wrong, and when we focus on what we did wrong, we start to think we can do nothing right. Once we start down that path, more and more things go awry. We get in the habit of doing the same things and expecting to not get it right. Before we know it, we have set ourselves up for failure before even beginning something because we believe we can’t do anything right. Sometimes we fail because we take to heart other peoples’ criticism of us; we give more weight to someone else’s opinions than we do our own. Living your life by someone else’s expectations won’t work. It is only a matter of time before we become unhappy and angry because we are not living the life we are meant to live.

It isn’t easy to break this cycle, but it can be done. We have to tell ourselves that others can’t possibly know us as well as we know ourselves. We have to tell ourselves that we are capable of getting it right. We have to tell ourselves that we are strong, and intelligent, and capable of great things, if we will just allow ourselves to ignore the naysayers. Some people take great delight in smashing dreams; ignore them – they are usually unhappy people who can’t bear to see others succeed. Don’t listen to them; listen to your heart. Let your heart overrule your head; listen to that still, small voice that tells you what you are capable of accomplishing.

We may not always succeed, but failure just tells us to try another way. Giving in to failure tells us we are not worthy. That little voice, our intuition, is almost always right. I have learned this the hard way. Whenever I have listened to that voice, things work out well; whenever I have ignored it, things didn’t work out so well. Too often we make decisions out of fear; those kinds of decisions aren’t good for us. Fear can be conquered by doing that which we fear the most.

Trust your instincts.

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How do you want to be remembered?

What would you like people to say at your eulogy? What will they say? Most of us find it hard to be objective and see ourselves as others do. Think about it. Write your ideal obituary. Now look at it. Is that who you really are? If so, good for you; if not, how can you live up to how you want people to remember you. Start now. Take one thing at a time and change it. Trying to change everything at once isn’t always possible, so pick the most important behavior or attitude you want to change and create a plan. Give yourself a few days to come up with the plan; change it, refine it, add to it, delete from it; but set a time limit. It would be very easy to just keep changing the plan and never implementing it. Once you put the plan into motion, you can refine it, but follow it. Give yourself 3 weeks to change. Once you have changed that first characteristic, start working on the next one. You may find that changing just one thing will trigger changes in other areas of your life, and some of those things you want to change will change on their own.

Let me know how it goes for you.