More Ups and Downs

For the past week or so, I have had a return of discomfort in my left side and a dry cough. Both of these are usually indicators that something is going on with my lung tumors and were the original symptoms that sent me to my doctor. My PA called today and said that my CEA is indeed up, and that’s a good sign that the tumors are growing – the CEA isn’t necessarily indicative of what’s going on, but it does work that way for me. So I will be scheduled for another CT scan in the next couple of weeks and then maybe meet with my onc doc to see what the new plan is going to be.

I also am having some neuropathy, but in a weird way. It’s only on my left hand, in the area between my 4th and little fingers. It started out feeling like I had a cactus spine stuck in there, but there’s nothing there. And there’s some achiness on the sides of the fingers around that area. I don’t have any tingling, numbness, or any other neuropathy symptoms. I thought it might just be arthritis, but my PA says that the chemo would suppress the inflammation response for arthritis, so she’s sure it’s neuropathy and not arthritis. Lucky me!

Today, the side effects started early with achiness and feeling generally out of sorts and a little weepy. I’m trying to stay busy with searching for and printing knitting and crochet patterns and plan to do some test projects, just to make sure I haven’t forgotten how to knit or crochet. It’s been such a long time since I’ve done either one. And I’m not sure how that’s going to work with the neuropathy; guess I’ll find out.

I’m not feeling very encouraged right now, even though I know most of that is the usual post-chemo depression. It’s always up and down. But at least next week is an off week, so hopefully I’ll have more energy then and won’t have side effects to deal with. It doesn’t help to hear the news that another member of our lung cancer community has died, even if it’s someone I didn’t know personally. Every death leaves another hole in my heart. But on the other hand, there is always news of someone reaching another survival milestone, or of a new drug that is showing promise in clinical trials, or a new treatment that has completed trials and is pending FDA approval. I try to stay positive, because wallowing in self pity doesn’t accomplish anything and just saps my energy. My hope is to keep going until there’s something that will be better than the current chemo regimens I’m going through.

So I’ll continue onwards and upwards.

15 thoughts on “More Ups and Downs

  1. Ruth … I hope .. with you .. that you will feel better. Manson is driving me crazy as I write this. A 7m German Shepherd puppy .. what can I say??? But maybe it is a Good Thing! ? Or I would get all mushy and sentimental. Like this , I am just going nuts. And I think you are amazing and awesome .. down and up. I am smiling because I know you can do this .. with ups and downs . I wish you had gotten some help from some of my friends for the knitting and stuff.

    Well, it is almost 2am here. With, what I think is a full moon out there. Sending you hugs with the help of our moon. And lots of love. Take Care!!!!!


  2. I just hate this for you. Hate it. Stupid cancer. Pffffftttt…..

    One of my favorite clerks at a ship chandlery hasn’t been around for a while, and I just found out today she’s suffering from truly severe neuropathy. They said she can hardly walk. I’m certainly glad yours isn’t that bad. It drove Mom crazy after she had shingles. She said it wasn’t so much painful as terribly annoying — it always was there, nagging at her. You certainly don’t need anything more nagging at you. Maybe that will go away.

  3. I agree with the sentiment of “stupid cancer”. My heart aches for all that you are having to endure and suffer through. But we have to hang onto hope…you’ve come so far, and I pray that this too shall pass and you will live to be the much-needed voice of lung cancer survivors. 💖

  4. Dear Ruth
    You always take time to read my blog and I am amazed at your ability to be positive when every day is a challenge. You certainly are an inspiration to me. Praying for good news when you have the next scan

Ruth passed away from cancer. Please remove from list

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