Chemo went well today, although there was a moment of panic when no blood was being pulled out of the port; that’s never a good thing. But fortunately it worked on the 2nd try. The site is still tender and poking it more than once with a needle isn’t fun! So the infusions went well and only took about 4 hours.

The main side effect I seem to be having is bone-crushing fatigue. Consequently, my treatment team strongly suggested that I not go to work for the rest of this year and they will re-evaluate in early January. I was only putting in a couple of hours a day at most, because that’s all I could handle. But they are concerned that those hours will deplete my strength even more, and I need my strength to fight off this dreadful disease. (I would much rather be at work than having to fight cancer! But I don’t have a choice.) So I’m hoping my disability policy I’ve been paying on for a year and a half will pay out like they’re supposed to. And of course now I wish I had paid a little more and bought the cancer policy – but hindsight is always 20-20 isn’t it?

So I’m spending my days reading, writing, napping, and playing on the computer. And when I feel up to it, venturing outside the house to the store or to take pictures. Being out in nature is rejuvenating, so I try to at least sit on the back patio for a little while each day for fresh air and sunshine.

My hair is continuing to thin but isn’t falling out in chunks yet – I’ve been told it will. Oh, joy! But I’m prepared, at least physically with hats and scarves and a possible wig. Mentally, I’m not sure one can be prepared for that sort of thing. I admire those women who can go out with bald heads uncovered, and who knows, maybe I will reach that point, too. Because we all know that ‘bald is beautiful’, right?

13 thoughts on “Fatigue

  1. costellocnm says:

    Hi Ruth, I hope you are getting rest.Your energy will return ~ but try to rest for now. This too shall pass. Since it sounds like you may take some time off during your treatments~ I wanted to share with you that having a diagnosis of lung cancer (certain types /involvement …such as adenocarcinoma with hilar area) may make you eligible for Social Security Disability under the “Compassionate Allowance list”. It allows you the option of returning to work or a trial return to work if you want after time. you can apply on line. It takes 6 months from first diagnosis/stop work date for it to start but if you start the process now…it puts you ahead of the time wait.Just a thought. Feel Better ~

  2. I honestly don’t know if I could go out with a bald head…I know I deeply admire women who do, but it would take me awhile, and perhaps only in certain well-trusted company. I’d probably enjoy the scarves and snazzy head gear more…I’ve seen some striking head covers over the years.

    Sigh. I wish you didn’t have to go through any of this. But wishing doesn’t change things, does it. So if you have to be going through it, I hope you find ways to fling light and positive sparks into the chaos.

    Always wishing you healing rest and peaceful passages through the days and nights ahead. xoxoxo

  3. I have a blog friend who went through surgery, chemo and radiation for cancer. She knows a good bit about the ins and outs of what’s possible when it comes to returning to work, partial returns and such. If you’re ever inclined, I can put you in touch with her.

    She fought fatigue, too, and the nausea. She always was fine the first day after chemo, but then had a few days of barely being able to move.

    As for the hair loss, well… GG always enjoyed this video that I found for her. Maybe you will, too. The Uppity Blues Women – Bald Headed Blues .


  4. I had checked this out, Maureen, but I have already signed up for Social Security and Medicare for early next year when I turn 65. That was already in the works before I was diagnosed. I have a short term disability policy that will carry me through until then, plus I’m on Family Medical Leave, and my workplace allows for donation of Personal Time by employees with unused time to people like me who are running out of paid time off.

    Thank you for your support. 🙂

  5. I try, Sharon, as you know. I don’t know if I’ll manage to be in public; we’ll have to wait and see. Perhaps I should get my talented friend to put some art on my bald head? That might be different!!

  6. Thank you for commenting! I am already signed up to retire with Social Security early next year – did that before I was diagnosed with cancer. So it’s all good.

  7. Hi Ruth,
    Hope you feel better soon.
    Although I’m not a cancer sufferer, I suffer with chronic fatigue and have learnt the hard way that it’s best to just go with the flow. I found it was better to take it easy, go slowly, go to bed, not push myself. It sounds as though you’re doing just the right thing.

  8. I’m glad the chemo went well for you today. My love and hope is with you always. You have many blogging friends wanting to help see you through this dreadful time. Love Jenna

Ruth passed away from cancer. Please remove from list

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