I am tired tonight. I went to work for a few hours and accomplished quite a bit. Stopped on the way home to pick up a couple of things. My partner has been doing a fantastic job in keeping things together and running smoothly, but I know this has hit him hard. His only comment has been that he thought he would be the one going through the cancer and chemo stuff because of all his years of smoking and working around chemicals. He has never been one to show emotion – it’s hard for him. But there are times I wish he would. He has a few close friends that he has lunch with regularly, and maybe that’s all he needs.
But there are times like now when I want to cry and scream and punch something. For the times we should have together and may not. I try to stay positive, but even that gets worn out. Especially when I’m tired, or sick, or hurting. And I know this will pass.
On a positive note, the follow up visit went well. My labs are holding steady. They won’t recheck tumor markers until after the 2nd treatment in 2 weeks. I’m anxious to know whether the treatments are working. The side effects from one are too severe, so they will switch that one to something else.
I think I’m too tired to write much tonight. Tomorrow I have the chemo port installed so will have more time.
Good night, dear friends.