A New Beginning


Posted on: January 30, 2013

When I was young, very young, I never thought about retirement. I naively thought there would always be someone around to take care of me; parents, husband, children.

My father had a job, and my mother raised us kids, took care of the house, etc. My dad gave her money every week, housekeeping money, so she could buy food and whatever else was needed to keep the household running. We gradually moved up in the world, from my first memories living in a 2-room flat with no indoor plumbing, to a great big 4-bedroom 2-story  house. I had a younger brother, 5 years younger, who got whatever he wanted, just because he was a boy. I was destined to be a nurse, or a teacher, but only until I found a husband who would take care of me as my dad took care of my mom. Hence my belief that there would always be someone to take care of me.

Because I was a girl, I wasn’t supposed to be good at math, or science, or any ‘real world’ stuff, because after all, my future husband would deal with all that, right? Fortunately for me, my dad realized how smart I was and encouraged me to study and learn whatever I wanted, and he had to fight the school so that I could do that. But when I graduated from High School, I was on my own as far as education. Learning was fine for girls through High School, but only through High School, unless it was Nursing School or Teacher’s College. So I went to Nursing School.

So with this background, I had never learned how to manage money, plan for the future, or any of that stuff. When my father died, my mother didn’t even know how to write a check – she didn’t have to because my father took care of the finances.

The husband, and the kids, came and went. I learned a few things along the way. By the time I realized I was on my own, I was barely making ends meet with nothing extra to stash away for retirement. The dream of having someone to take care of me was just that, a dream. The reality is that the only person who can take care of me is…me.

I am facing retirement in a couple of years – or I can keep working until I die. I choose to retire. My partner and I have learned to reduce the income we need to make to live well. So things have turned out well for me. But there are many women out there who are not as fortunate as I am. They are the ones who were left to raise kids on their own; the ones who suddenly find themselves divorced; the ones who lost their jobs. Women in general lose out on almost half a million dollars over their lifetime in retirement money because of not working, or leaving to raise kids, or because they are paid 3/4 of what a man makes for the same job, or because they are in a ‘pink-collar’ profession.

Are you prepared for retirement?

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13 Responses to "Retirement"

Being an advocate for womens rights and a health provider for women thank you for highlighting this. Paulette

Thanks, Paulette! I think it’s important. I meet too many young women who don’t know anything about the struggle for equality that we still don’t have. I do what I can. :-)

It’s so true what you say – so many women have not bothered being aware of finances, assuming someone else would take care of it. Certainly food for thought.

My mom’s generation, and mine too, were brought up to ‘let’ the man take care of everything. We were told not to worry our ‘pretty little heads’ about finances and hard stuff like that. The women’s movement changed a lot of things, but we’re still not equal.

Hmmm. That’s so interesting. I never really, truly thought of what it must be like for women of your generation at this point in their lives. I was lucky enough to grow up with a mother and father who handled the finances as a joint venture. They took it upon them to teach us budgeting and saving way way before we left the nest.
It sounds like you’re doing fantastic though. How hard it must have been to teach yourself all that before it was too late. Kudos.

You are so lucky! Learning the hard way isn’t fun. But I’m managing. :-)

I retired from my ‘day job’ to write full time in November last year and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life! It’s wonderful, Ruth. :D

In my family my mother looked after the finances and when my father passed, she was quite good at taking care of everything. A lot of people don’t really understand what to prepare for when they retire and money is the major problem. Luckily, I’d put a lot away in superannuation and that comes in very handy!

Good for you, Dianne! I don’t have much money put away, but my partner and I will have enough for all our needs and some of our wants, so that’s great! Two more years and counting down!! :-)

What a well written article Ruth. You speak for many women I would say. Congrats on the upcoming retirement!

Thank you, Margie. It’s not a topic a lot of younger women even think about.

I missed all that…my father made sure I took every chance going for education…and have i been grateful to him!

How fortunate that you have such a wonderful father! My father could never understand why, at the age of 40, I decided to go to college for the first time! :-)

I learned early on I had to take care of myself, so I am very familar with the day to day financials. Retirement itself is about 20 years off, so I can’t say I’m ready, but I think I’ll be prepared when the time comes. ;-)
Congratulations on your upcoming retirement, Ruth!

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© A New Beginning 2006-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ruth Rainwater and A New Beginning with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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